Book Review & Personal Editorial: Yes Please – Amy Poehler
I love this book. From start to finish it was filled with honesty, humor and great advice.
The foreword is a letter from Amy about how writing a book is hard. Writing is hard. As someone who writes copy for a living, I can understand this. The creative process is draining and exhausting, but also amazing and rewarding and fulfilling at the same time. The book is divided into three parts: 1. SAY Whatever You Want, 2. DO Whatever You Like and 3. BE Whoever You Are.
Some may find this book cynical in ways, but I thought it was a collection of well-thought observations of generational differences and how no one has opportunities handed to them. Her tales of how she grew up and how she got to where she is today in her career and personal life are easily relatable. She wasn’t discovered in some malt shop, she put in the time (A LOT of time) and a lot of hard work to get to where she is. I found the way she chronicled her journey to be really interesting and heartfelt.
She discusses childbirth, motherhood, work-life balance, divorce, love and other emotions. Her story about guilt that came from a sketch she did at SNL (I won’t spoil it as it is impossible for me to summarize this story) was one of the most interesting parts of the book for me. The way she speaks to her feelings and what we all think when it comes to apologies is comforting.
“A word about apologizing: It’s hard to do it without digging yourself in deeper. Its also scary and that’s why we avoid the pain. We want so badly to plead our case and tell our story. The bad news is that everybody has a story. Everyone has a version of how things went down and how they participated. It’s hard to untangle facts and feelings.” (p.71)
I enjoyed how this book is full of good stories, but also good life lessons. My favorites include:
Time Travel: “Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being.” (p. 279) In doing so, though, she reminds us to remember to live in the moment and pay attention.
People Not Liking You: “That kind of feeling would have been hard to hold in my heart and stomach when I was in my twenties. It was hard to feel like somebody didn’t like me. It felt like such a failure. I don’t care as much now. It’s really great. It’s like I can finally eat spicy food without the gut ache later, or something similar. I have a stomach for other people not stomaching me. Or at least I am working on it.” (p. 237)
Anger and Other Emotions: “Emotions are like passing storms, and you have to remind yourself that it won’t rain forever. You just have to sit down and watch it pour outside and then peek your head out when it looks dry.” (p. 238). She also discusses how ‘anger and embarrassment are often neighbors’ and how to work through that.
The Demon: One topic that she covers a few times throughout the book is “the demon” that we all have inside of ourselves that tells us we are fat, and ugly and can’t do it, etc. Everyone has this demon, no matter how far you’ve come.
Ambivalence: This is another great subject and the way she discusses it in terms of success, awards and recognition is earnest and insightful.
Quote: ‘I think that if I have established anything in my book, it’s that a key element of being my friend is being comfortable with my forced fun.” (p. 318). This is in the section entitled ‘My phone does not want me to have friends’ and I have no way to really contextualize this quote. What I will say is that this does in some ways speak to my own life. J
Bossy Women: “Let me just take a moment to say that I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how ‘bossy’ can seem like a sh*tty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader. Also, even though I’m bossy, I like being told what to do by people who are smarter and more interesting than me.” (p. 304)
Carrying on with my love of this book…and of course, Parks & Recreation:
I loved Amy on SNL. I loved her intelligence on the Update desk and her silliness and willingness to play some of the hilarious and ridiculous characters that she did. She mentions in her book that Ted Dansen told her that “acting is embarrassing” and I supposed that’s true. I’m happy that she was willing to play those silly characters because they made me laugh and appreciate that someone was willing to set embarrassment aside for that. Also, there’s a guest chapter by Seth Myers…which is excellent.
Finally on page 245, she begins to discuss her time on Parks and Recreation. Don’t skip ahead to this part if you’re a mega fan because everything leading up to this is worth the read, but I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t wait until this section. She discusses how the show came to be, and speaks briefly about each member of her family of cast-mates. Although they wrapped up the series better than most shows do, I still cried when it was all over. I’ve re-watched every season several times as I find them to be oddly both comforting and inspiring.
Also, for all you super-fans out there, Ben’s proposal and the vows from the wedding episode are included in this chapter! My fave: Leslie: “So I will just say this. The things you have done for me-to help me. Support me. Surprise me. And make me happy – go above and beyond what any person deserves. You are all I need. I love you and I like you.” (p. 260)
The side footnotes from Mike Schur make this chapter a bit more personal, which is neat. My favorite quote from him is: “…I realized that Leslie had evolved into a character for whom there was no difference in her private and public thoughts, motives or feelings. Amy had made her into a completely consistent, heart-on-her-sleeve character who was not embarrassed or ashamed by anything she ever said or did in any scenario…it became a mission statement that we would never write a story that involved her being ashamed of how she felt.” (p.250)
I’ll be honest – I love the character of Leslie Knope (maybe more than any other character on tv). Maybe that’s why I like Parks and Rec so much. Her character and world in Parks and Rec reflects my own life a lot (and more than just a deep love of breakfast food). Leslie’s hounding of people like Ron Swanson and Anne Perkins to be her friend eventually pays off and she becomes someone they would do anything for. I wish life were like that, but the Leslie Knope of my reality is that this type of personality (despite how real it is) often pushes people away.
I’m fortunate enough that I found my Ben Wyatt – a love that is real, a best friend and a partner and cheerleader for your dreams. My own Anne Perkins lives in another city, too, and maybe one day I will convince someone like Madeline Albright to be my breakfast-diner sounding board. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that of course my life features Eagletonians but maybe one day I will reunite the towns, despite how they feel about me (but then – spoiler alert – Leslie gets recalled, so maybe not quite that plot line I’d want in my own life). Sorry, I digress.
People look at these characters, like Leslie Knope and think “they’re crazy”, and I look at them and think “I’m not alone! That’s totally me!” If you look past the crazy exterior, what you see in these characters is someone who is incredibly loyal and when they decide they’re in, they’re all in. When it comes to any of my close relationships, I’m all in. I’m vulnerable and I don’t hold back. I feel like this book taught me to keep being that way, regardless of the people who refuse to see me for who I really am, think they know me but they don’t, and that being vulnerable exposes you to the possibility of hurt. What is important to remember is that it also exposes you to the possibility of experiencing real love and real happiness.
I love Amy Poehler. I think she is an amazing person and artist. I always found her intelligent and inspiring and this book just validated those feelings that much more.
I’ll leave you with this (which seems to be the most quoted line from the book, and I can see why): “I think if you can dance and be free and not embarassed you can rule the world.” (p. 325)
Check out Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls here! It is such a great organization and I’d be silly to not at least mention it in passing. (Don’t worry, I’ll cover it in its own post this year!)
