Book Review: Why Not Me? – Mindy Kaling

I waited all summer for this book to come out. I’ve always been a huge fan of Mindy Kaling and read her first book “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and Other Concerns)” almost cover to cover in one sitting – not unlike how I dove into this one.  I looked forward to this book because I like reading from people that I can relate to.  The summary in the book jacket states: “Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud-funny collection of essays that anyone who’s ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to.”  This is absolutely true.

I know it sounds cliché and she even mentioned in her book how people come up to her and say that her stories make them feel like they aren’t alone in how they, too, feel, and I must admit that I am one of those people myself.  This book starts out with a story about when Mindy brought a bag of Skittles when started the seventh grade at a new school. As someone who started at new schools several times and has constantly battled with fitting in (even in my own family), this story really resonated with me. It did two things: made me feel like less of a try-hard weirdo and wish that there were Skittles in my pantry.

My role models aren’t people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg or Hilary Clinton or anyone like that. Not to discount their accomplishments, because I think that they need to be recognized for their amazing achievements, but I look more to the confident comediennes of my generation like Mindy Kaling, Kirsten Wiig, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I can identify with these women because they are more like me (or I’m more like them, either way).  They’re also closer to my age and because of their professions, they can be a bit more vulnerable and honest.  It’s nice to read something candid rather than a calculated political memoir.    

I likely identify a lot with Mindy Kaling just because of how she speaks about her relationship with her parents. I was raised with by a “you can do anything!” set of people who remain my biggest cheerleaders (alongside my husband who is equally supportive, which I believe is worth noting). Having people who support you and teach/allow you to be a dreamer (with a work ethic to achieve said dreams) has been invaluable to me and to Kaling as well, as she chronicles this in both of her books.  It’s amazing what you can accomplish when people provide you with a safe place to be yourself.

Kaling’s work ethic is showcased the chapter entitled “A Day In The Life of Mindy Kaling” and again in her final chapter “Why Not Me?” in the subsection titled: “Hard Work; Or, The Thing No One Wants To Hear About”.  She discusses how confidence comes from hard work and that it is earned, just like respect.

I think what I liked most about this book was Mindy Kaling’s candor about her own personality faults. She recognizes them and has learned to accept them over time (or continues to try to accept them), which I myself am trying to do.  Like Kaling, I’m passionate, caring and a try-hard (to a fault). I want to feel included and for people to like me, which I know for almost everyone stem back to childhood experiences that seem to repeat themselves in their adult lives.  I agree that these things hurt and matter less as you get older, as they certainly have for me, too.

It’s important to note, though, that although she mentions her faults, she is also aware of her many strengths that have helped get her to where she is today.  What many might view as annoying qualities or desperation, Kaling shows us that these can be seen as endearing and come from a good place (as she did in her first book).  Her humorous anecdotes certainly soften her opinions, but they do so without sugar coating the issue, too.  It’s hard to find your place when you’re different, but Kaling’s writing certainly tells us that we aren’t alone in those feelings.

This book really made me think about how we should think “why not me?”, too, and I think that’s a good thing for us to do sometimes.  It’s also a good reminder that we are on an ongoing journey.  I, too, feel like I am at a turning point in life, and this book really helped me along.  So, with that, I challenge you to ask yourself “why not me?” and I don’t mean in the way that “all my friends are married/pretty/happy/whatever – why not me?” but rather in the spirit of “they’re successful, they climbed that mountain – why not me?”  Of course, you can, too!

I will leave you with this.  I think my favorite quote of hers (I can’t find it in the book) from her cover story with InStyle magazine (June 2015) that reads: “People get scared when you try to do something, especially when you’re succeeding.”  Don’t let that hold you back.

Other books by Mindy Kaling: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and Other Concerns) – I suggest reading this one first!